Borrowing a phrase from a friend. Hope you don't mind. After I gave it some thought, it just seemed appropriate at the time and she did give me permission. So, with that being said, here we go. Some of it is tough, but it's life, and life isn't always a breeze to live.
The past 10 days has been tough. God gives us all the ability to be strong not just for others but ourselves as well.
I have to tell you that I am so very proud of my daughter. She was such a rock and an incredible blessing last week for the rest of her in-laws and other family members as they all came to the grips of reality in the tragic loss of one very special gentleman that was and is near and dear to them. Disbelief, tears, anger, sadness, grief. They all hit you like a ton of bricks. But, she found strength inside of her that was God given and not only helped her and her husband through the daily overwhelming sadness that took a throat hold and gripped them, but all of the others, too. I know it hurts. I knows there is shock and disbelief. Sometimes, when we find ourselves dealing with such an all encompassing level of grief, we try to convince ourselves that it is not real. It takes the finality of a funeral and the celebration of that special life, or actually seeing the reality to bring it all into perspective in our minds, to make it really "real". This week is rough for her and the rest of her family. Time to get back to living and doing and being. Day by day, good memories replace the bad ones and life begins to fall back into place. It just takes time, and thankfully, God gives us that and He gives us His big wonderful shoulders to lay our heads on and bask in the comfort and peace that He is just waiting to provide.
As "Mom", I tried to be there for her. When my kids cry, I tend to find my quiet place and do the same. I think it's just part of it all. Husbands/dads don't always understand that. Moms tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves. It's okay. When the tears need to flow like a rushing river, it's okay. Just let it happen. Most of the time, peace follows. Each day, you get a little stronger.
So, here we are 10 days later, and slowly, things are beginning to fall back into place. You find yourself looking longer at the ones you love, appreciating them more, listening a little closer and devouring every single detail - it's important. Those all become memories, memories to cherish.
You are probably wondering why such a strange title for this blog when it started off with such a heavy tone, well, peace and comfort are beginning to fall back into place. Tears still happen, but with less uncontrollable force. And, in the middle of what we look at and perceive to be the worst and most heart wrenching moments of our lives, there is still grace, beauty, humor and above all else, miracles.
With that being said, I will now move on to those wonderful, lighter moments that God throws in there for us to bring us back.
Miracles, yes, the week has been packed full of them. New found strength, faith and answered prayers that are right there in front of me. For starters, my daddy celebrated his 80th birthday this past Saturday. I got to spend the afternoon with him and my mother. We had such a good time. His big blowout birthday bash is just a week away and we have some wonderful things planned for him. But, the other miracle for him was the realization that his eye surgery had been successful and for the first time in many, many months, he could see out of the corrected eye WITHOUT his glasses. Praise God! My dad is somewhat of a walking miracle anyway, as he is a 9 stroke survivor, and with doctors telling us that they don't understand "why", we all do. God is simply not done with him yet. He has some mighty powerful plans for him. Do you know how absolutely miraculous our bodies can be! He is having surgery on his other eye today. It will be so wonderful. Hopefully, he will be able to see well with two good eyes by the end of the day. Won't that be wonderful!
While we are on the subject of miracles, that wonderful son of mine, gets to be in another movie! Yeah! You are living your dream, kiddo! Proud of you, so very proud of you. Don't ever stop believing. You can do anything if you believe in yourself and you call upon the Right One to help you out.
Everyday, we need a little humor, a laugh, some silliness, to help get us through the day. I would like to give credit for the daily giggle to my best friend. The mule kick is courtesy her and this is why...
The girl inhales ice water, literally cannot survive a day without tons and tons of ice cubes and fresh, cold water all day long. She can't help it. Her whole life, she's had to deal with one major illness or another and they have all joined together, ravaged her body and left her, some days, fighting pain, hormones, renting her food, and just plain, not feeling well. But, guess what, she is alive! She is strong! She is faithful! She is beautiful! She believes in miracles, as she is one, herself, and there is not a day that goes by that I don't thank God for putting her in my path 2 1/2 years ago. He is good, He is very, very good! She is my best friend.
I promised you a little humor to wrap up this blog today, so here it is. Back to the mule kick.
Sunday evening, one of multiple phone conversations on the phone. We were talking, marveling at the days events, expressing concerns for my kids as they drove back from Florida, talking about parties and events that we hope to be working on, and then, it happened. For her, the ultimate OMG! She reached into her freezer to retrieve a handful of fresh ice, only to find out that her beloved ice maker had succumbed to the inevitable and obvious lifespan and given up its last ice cube. Oy! Not a good thing! Being the inherent problem solver that I tend to be, yours truly suggested that she send the spousal unit to the corner store to retrieve a bag of ice and just toss it in the freezer. Easy fix, don't you think. First words out of her mouth "I don't have room in my freezer for a bag of ice." Did I really just hear her say that! Perhaps, we can blame it on the Tamoxifen. I guess it's up to me to shed some light here. "Honey, take the ice out of the bag and put it in the ice keeper in the freezer!"
"OMG, what!" "I can't believe I didn't think of that!" "You just so totally gave me a Mule Kick to the Head!"
It's nice to know I'm good for something! Love her to pieces. It wasn't Comedy Central, but, it was a giggle. That's all you get today. I'm in one of those philosophical moods. I'm allowed!
Long and short of it is this. We take our first breath, and we follow a path that we create based upon our choices, good and bad. God knows before we even make those choices, exactly what we are going to do and He is there for us, ready to catch us and pick up the pieces or cheer us on. The old saying that "today is the first day of the rest of your life", rings true. Think about that every day when you plant your feet on the floor. Your first miracle of the day is that God gave you a gift of another day. He gave you another sunrise and hopefully, another sunset. Enjoy it and know that it is a miracle. Live it right, live it well, live it honestly. Be the example of the right way. Love those that are near and dear to you literally like there is no tomorrow, because, in all honesty, you just don't know, there may not be. It might very well be the last opportunity to share the love and the moment.
Be sweet, love well, live well, be the light, be the miracle and God bless!
Love y'all!
K
