Teenagers - A Lesson in Patience, Humility and The Love of God

• Posted by Kaye Andrews October 29, 2010 - 1,017 views

  Earlier this year, May to be exact, I began to mentor the 17 year old son of a friend.  He's had his ups and downs, a little trouble brought on by fear and the need to protect himself, and 2 years later, a clean record, but not a physical school willing to embrace him and give him a fresh start.  So, I jumped in heart first, followed by my feet, head and the rest of me, ready to help this young man and champion his cause.  A lot of prayer went into my decision and I knew that the devil would be taunting him and me at every turn, but we persisted and over the course of 4 months, we completed nearly his entire 11th grade year of school, took the finals and began to think about making his senior year, one that would be special and memorable.

  Courses over the summer were challenging.  I learned more about psychics than I ever really wanted to know, at least from the standpoint of a textbook.  Geography and all of its goodies came rushing back and muddled my 38 year post high school brain with lines and angles and more.  It was bad enough that I began to dream in graphs and diagrams, or so it seemed.  But, we persevered and we won the battle of 11th grade and all that it encompassed on the 31st day of August.  A big PRAISE GOD goes here! 

  Since that time though, things have been just a little more frustrating and we are not experiencing the same rapid progress that we had before.  More prayer, and I would ask for yours as well.  His folks ended up registering him for a virtual school.  The concept is great, however, there are still so many kinks in the process, that it frequently leaves him feeling frustrated and full of angst due to the frequent problems with links not working, the turtle pace uploads and downloads and the fact that after 12 weeks of participation, they just can't seem to figure out a correct email to use to communicate with him and his parents.  In steps the dragon slayer, yet one more time and here we go with a new foe to champion for this young man - the education system.

  I've made some noise, well actually, a lot of noise, as have his parents.  Needless to say, I don't think they will forget any of the 3 of us any time soon.  But, our lances and armor are in place and we are all ready for the battle that ensues for his success as a student.

  I believe that in order for a child to believe in himself or herself, that they must see that others believe in them too.  To be successful, they must see that others are there to help them and cheer for them (and most definitely - pray them) along the way.  Lead and teach by example.  Isn't that what Jesus did for us?

  In this process, I have also learned that the best way to talk to a teenager is by being honest.  Screaming doesn't help.  It's like a placebo.  It might make you think you feel better, but the effects are short lived and don't solve the problem.  I finally figured out today that often the best way to approach a resolution is by turning the tables on them and putting the solution in their hands.  If you fall prey to their attitude, don't cave, don't give in, and by all means, unless it's life threatening, don't scream.  That's what they want you to do.  I turned those tables today, more than once and each time I did, I saw results, minimal, but positive results.  I had to silently take a step back and tell myself "whoa".  Didn't expect that!  Remember a few years ago when the WWJD bracelets and necklaces were so popular?  I honestly ask myself and Him through prayer and unspoken words, just how He would work with this young man.  What lessons would He put out there before him to help him see The Path.

  This morning, it was yet another case of following his own agenda.  Nearly an hour passed before he walked out the door.  I really think that he expected and wanted me to explode.  I didn't.  I calmly told him that communication was key in everything and that he needed to remember that it was not always going to be about him.   Nothing else was said for quite a while, and when we got to the office to start school, amazingly, he had become a little friendlier and a little more cooperative.  So, which one of the few things that I said to him had an impact or was it simply that in this case, reversing the reaction by not really having one proved fruitful.  I am, however, still at a loss on how to get it through the apparent thick bone structure that we call a skull, just how important self-discipline, punctuality and respect (both for others and yourself) are to living out your life.

  I'm at a loss here.  I want to see this young man be successful in his remaining school career as well as his life.  I want to see him wear a cap and gown and walk up to receive a diploma.  I want to see him become a strong and respected leader.

  Here's my plea to you!  HELP!  Prayer starts and finishes every day for me, and takes up a good portion of the middle as well.  Need some ideas.  Perhaps you have had similar situations.  How did you handle them?

  I ask God to wrap His mighty arms around this child and just hold on tight to help us over the bumps in the road, and I know He will.  He has blessed me with patience and the ability to learn, myself.

  Friends, keep us in your prayers.  Lift him up that he may learn and become the good example himself one day, a leader of men.  He has a heart for God and has always been immersed in God's word as have his mom and dad.  Pray a hedge around him, around them, around all of us and pray that we are able to lead him out of his teenage years as a proud, successful young man with a lot to give the world.

  In Jesus' Name!