Someone somewhere at some point has asked," Where were you and what were you doing one year ago today ?" That simple question is hard for me to answer because my time is not measured by years , months nor days, but by 31,536,000 seconds that add up to 525.600 minutes and then flows into 8760 hours. This is my absolute . This is my reality .This is how I have made it One Year Today. Will I make it one more second, minute, or even an hour? My heart skips a beat, the clock ticks off the seconds, Oh yes coming up on the minute mark, Can it be? Will it be? I continue to write so there is hope the hour mark will be reached. I want to rest my spent body but my mind keeps racing towards one year ago today. Flash of time, smell of gun powder, strangers speaking , can not breathe, can not break through the foggy haze What are they saying? Fight for that air, Run Now, Run Fast. Here is a room. Close the door, The strangers can not find me. I am alone at last. Gasping , Silent tears fall. Eyes closed tight, Go to my knees, face tilted upwards,Words spill from my lips. Heavenly Father hear my prayer, I know not what to do, I have not the strength to carry me through. I am begging for the help my heart seeks, open eyes, slowly look around, tears fade a way, I am in the chapel, a hand reaches for mine, It is warm, feels right, I find my footing, First words spoken that I can understand, Sister your faith is strong and our Father will see you through this darkest hour. My prayers will be with you always, I make my way. pass others in the hall, I feel their pain but do they feel mine? Wait did I say thank you to this person ? A fleeting thought, What papers? Yes I signed them. My mind is not on you. Leave me ALONE! Take his hand, Touch it to my lips, My love, My life, Stroke his forehead genitally , Hum in a soothing tone, room is peaceful, others fade a way. He takes his last breath. The clock ticks out the hour, I made the mark. One Year Ago Today ! Now I wait.
