May all who read this blog be blessed.
It has been over a week since my last entry, and what a week it's been. I still havent found a job, so my situation hasnt changed at all. I have been so positive through all of this honestly believeing that things would work out for the good. Ive done everything in my power to make something happen. I did the legwork and the follow ups but nothing. I thought that by now I would at least have the car sold. Ive kept all of this before God the entire time and I want to have faith, but it gets so hard when you dont see any results.
I've been pretty strong through all of this, but yesterday I finally broke down in tears after walking three miles in the hot sun looking for jobs and trying to sell my car all day like 've done alomost every day for the past two months. The frustration just all came to the surface and once I started to cry I didn't really stop until I went to bed. I cried not just because of this particular situation, but because of the fact that Ive been trying so hard for years to just get some stability. Ive moved from place to place all my life and I just want to settle down and have some peace and not have to be so afraid all of the time. I guess the question in my mind is, and has been for some time: "Lord, why ?"
We all search for answers about the universe and our lives, but some Questions we will never have the answers to and that is where faith becomes necessary to our survival. I can wallow in my past and present sorrw, Or I can choose to have faith the God will deliver me out of this situation and do it in such a way that it will be a testament to his faithfulness and his grace and mercy towards us. One of my favorite passages in the bible is Psalm 107. This passage is all about how hte Lord hears our cires in our time of trouble and delivers us out of mercy and love even when we have brought ourselves unto destruction. I pray that my cries as well as all of those in need.
Amen
