I just accepted two friend requests from people i don't know, and with whom i have never had a conversational exchange. I am NOT a 'friend collector' here, or on any internet site. I currently am 'friend connected' to almost EXACTLY 1% of the members here. I think *i* have only initiated such connections about 3 times, and those were in cases where i had already had many positive dialogs with those people. When i receive a friend request here, i always check the person's bio statement of beliefs, to ensure that were NOT completely incompatible. In the past, that has led to some rude comments from people towards me after they realized that they were talking to a "godless, bastard atheist who sill suffer forever in the fires of hell", or some similar judgment.
I recently wrote a blog post about what i see to be an inconsistency in the bio statements of many members. If you care to follow the rest of this blog post, please read it and then come back to my comments. http://ministers.themonastery.org/blogs/13295/5721/no-you-actually-don-t-at-least
I respect the right of ANY member here to believe whatever they wish but i also reserve that right for mysel. Both of the ladies who sent me the requests indicate in THEIR bio statements of belief that they (summarizing but not INTENTIONALLy distorting their point) believe in god(s), respect all paths, and explicitly or implicitly believe that all paths lead to 'god/divinity/etc.". The thing is, i don't BELIEVE in god(s), My path doesn't lead there, yet *i* still consider it an ethical and appropriate way to live. It's always unclear to me how to respond to requests from people who make those statements. I used to reject such requests, but i've decided that the people who send them are entitled to be inconsistent and if they choose to extend a hand of friendship to a person whose beliefs they don't even acknowledge, that's their business. :-)
However, i should also be clear that their apparent dismissal of my beliefs doesn't 'offend' me. I understand that some people have GRAVE misconceptions about what it means to be an atheist, and have never considered that my lack of a belief in any imaginary friends doesn't in ANY way tell them about my personal commitment to ethical or 'righteous' behavior towards my fellow residents of the planet. See this blog post for MY opinion on "getting offended" here by ANYTHING anyone believes. http://ministers.themonastery.org/blogs/13295/5754/offensiveness-can-it-be-avoided
I respect those ladies' right to their belief, and i CHOOSE not to be offended that they explicitly don't recognize my belief that there's no god(s). In most cases it has turned out that the person was TRYING to be inclusive and ecumenical, they just need to expand their areas of consideration a bit further than they realized, and they are more often than not willing to do so. OTOH, even if they still feel the same way, they are free to disrespect my BELIEFS completely as long as they don't also disrespect MY right to continue to hold/practice them.
I am not defined, or limited, by anyone else's limits. I used to ask people if they could accept MY beliefs before accepting that kind of request, but i've more recently decided that if they can't do so, they can always sever the connection later. i have room in my heart for people who believe almost anything as long as their beliefs lead them to treat other people with courtesy and respect. Their perceived relationships with their imaginary friends just DO NOT matter to me, unless and until they start using those perceived relationship as an excuse to be a jerk.
So, i thank these two ladies for choosing to extend a hand of friendship to this stranger whose life philosophy they don't even apparently acknowledge, and i hope that we build a positive interaction between each of ourselves in the coming days here.
