There are alot of different beliefs when it comes to heaven and hell. For many religions, it is taught that heaven is the place where all the good people go and hell is the place where people go when you are inheritanlty bad or evil. Though the overall concept seems about right, what I have experieince in my 42 years as a Mediums shed a completely different light on this concept.
When I was five is when I encountered my first earthbound spirit. He was a man who looked like he was in his thirties or so. He stood next to me in my mother's church and guided me to a window. I looked out the window and saw him standing next to a tree,watching a bunch of people crying over a gravestone. It was a funeral, his funeral that he was showing me. I looked up towards heaven as if to show him where to go. I don;t know how I knew, I just knew he needed to go. He refused to go and said that heaven was filled with judgement. The man was terrified of God and what God would do to him if he went up there. His fear became my fear and for the first time I felt death. Everything turned black and for the first time I experieinced the darkness that comes with the seperation of God. I didn't realize at the time that I was channeling his fear, but that darkness followed me ever since. I was afraid of God and felt if I went to him, I would die. It didn't help when the preacher gave his fire and brimestone sermon afterwrds. At that moment, God became someone to fear.
After that day at the church, the shadows came. i could see and feel them everywhere watching me. Since I was raised in a Christian church, I was raised to believe they were demons. I developed many phobias after that to include being afraid to fall alseep in fear that I would never wake up. I never told my mother about the shadows but I could tell she sensed them to. There was always a dark cloud that seemed to follow me wherever I went that I could never explain other then I figured I made God angry and I was cursed just like the man that came to me at the church. As I got older, I started seeing some of the spirits more clearly but I had this one female would would talk to me. She always came to me when I was upset, and her voice was so loud it filled my head, yet it was like a loud mumble and I could never understand a word she said. I wasn't afraid of her though, in fact, it was her voice that always gave me comfort. When I heard her beautiful voice, I knew I was ok. I walked to the edge of a cliff that was behind our house. There was a river at the bottom that ran a little ways ahead before it bended. I was always drawn to the river but was to afraid to go down the cliff. I saw a young woman who was blnde and wearing all white. She was murdered on the other side of the bend and warned me not to go down there. Then I saw a man with dark hair, her killer. I never went back.
When I was 12, I played something we called "the game". It wasn't a game, it was a group of kids astral projecting to the gates of hell and fighting the demons in order to prevent the apocolpyse. For me, it was a mission to stand up against the shadows that haunted me. For the first two years, I would astral project in my sleep and wake up with cuts, bruises, bloody noses,amoung other things and not remembering what happened until after I woke up. I finally learned to "play" while I was awake and would astral project in a mostly conscious state, like a mild trance. I liked this better because then I could fight in real time. I had no idea until then how much you could do in an astral projected state! Forget just flying around, you can do everything in that state as you can here, if not more! On one hand it gave me more power, but on the other hand the attacks got really bad. They even scrathched "heathen" on my back. Alot of supernatural stuff that manifesting and I started suffering from sever panic attacks, depression and really weird impulses. I may have astral projected to hell, but hell was nothing compared to the demons that began to take over my life. This is when I started noticing strange weather patterns. One night we had a freak hailstorm that occured on a cloudless night. A few nights later, I realized I was in over my head. I went to bed one night and felt like my bed was surrounded by beings. I opened my eyes and there were 12 black robed beings surrounding my bed. I knew that they were there to kill me and I wouldn't make it through the night. At that moment I told God that if he was there and listening, if he got rid of these things, then I would promise to never "play" again, meaning I would never astral project to hell.
I went back to church and tried christianity again. I really tried to be a good person and to do all the right things. I joined an out reach ministry and went faithfully every sunday. The shadows continued to follow me. Every place I lived in continued to become hanted within a few months of moving in and the only thing that changed were getting even more horrific visions. They did many laying on of hands, prayers, casting out demons and blessings but nothing worked. My abilites continued to intensify and so I resolved myself to the fact that I was cursed. But it wasn't going to change the person I was. I was still going to believe in him whether he cursed me or not. I just wasn't going to do it in the church because I realized that I didn't believe in many of the same things they did, nor did I like the hypocrosy that I saw. Though I had a few good friends, most of the people where pretty fake. This really came to light a few years later when I recieived the news of a suicide that happened to the most popular member who everyone thought had her own personal phoneline to God. As soon I read the part of where she committes suicide, I saw a vision of every single attempt she made including the one that took her life. This was confirmed years later when a friend told me how she did it.
Many years later and after the seperation of my ex, it was just me and my three kids. We had nowhere to go, limited on money and I didn't really know what we were going to do. I just figured we would sink or swim and I was praying we would swim, and we did. It was a very hard time in my life, but this time in my life put me on the path I am on today. Through the friendship of a Wiccan and Satanist, I began to question much of the teachings I was originally taught. I think I was really seeking the reason why I was cursed and realized that I was cursed, I was blessed. I realized that I was trained to love a God of fear but I wasn't seeking a God of fear, I was seeking the one that was taking care of us at that moment, the God of love. I also started seeing things through the perspective of many different people and this is when I realized that spirituality was subjective. I learned that God didn't care how I sought him, he just wanted that connection with me. So I began on a solitary path of learning and self expression. Though I practiced magick, I wasn't struck down with lightening. I learned the power of intention and learned to take responsibility for my own actions. Every spell I cast, I thought of the reason for it, the intention behind it, and the possible consequences of it. I started learning that energy isn't created, it's changed or manipulated for a specific purpose, so I needed to make sure that what I requested wouldn't cause harm to come to another person. I also started realizing my connection with the elements, especially air. This training paved the way for my understanding of energy and ultimately to be used in conjunction with my other abilites in order to fulfill my life purpose. This was my foundation and my transformation from some cursed girl to mystic.
When I started dating my husband is when the Mediumship started surfacing. We joined a ghost hunting group. though we both did it for very different reasons. He joined because he was interested in the paranormal. After living with me for several months and the paranormal activity started building, he wanted to know how to handle it. For me, I needed answers and to finally conqour my fear of the ghosts and demons that haunted me. We did a couple investigations with the group but I was drawn to one particular place where I felt alot of trapped children there. We went back one night and I opened a doorway for the children to go into the light, if they chose, though I highly encouraged. The children left and the other spirit that kept them trapped was not happy. She folled us home and made our lives a living hell. She brought with her some other visitors as well. The entitiy threw my fifteen year old daughter out of a chair, a basketball size orb flew into my younger childrens room and they woke up screaming seconds after it went in the room. So we decided to do what the priests and other psychics said to do and to confront them. BIG mistake! I got my butt kicked the fight was on! They won and I started having dibilitaing panic attacks all over again. We finally moved. Though thos particular entities didn't follow, new ones did. This is when I started learning about my psychic abilites and started working with the Angels. I took my knowledge of psychic abilites and energy and developed a new way for us to cleanse without getting our butts kicked. I learned that the horrific visions I always recieived where pychic impressions and used to internet to validate these visions. The spirits kept coming and this is when I really started learning about the spirit realm.
I learned that many of the shadow people that came to me when I was young were actually lost souls. Lost souls are the spirits that became lost in the transit of heaven and earthbound. Basically, most of them are trapped by their own feelings of guilt and unworthiness of love, light or any thing good. Grief, intense sorrow, guilt, and regret seem to be the things that keep her. Unlike regualar eathbound spirits, they don't see the earth as we do, they see only darkness and in a sense has created their own living hell because they feel this is what they deserve or cannot see past the darkness. This was the spirit that came to me, that chose me when I was five and these were the spirits that continued to come to for help. Though I learned about the other types of spirits, my focus was solely on them and helping them be released from their darkness. By this time, I knew this darkness well, because his dakness became mine and this was my driving force to move past my fears and help them. I started doing what most of the other psychics did and tried one on one counciling sessions, but it didn't seem to effective. It worked for a few, but for most, it was like they just continued to relive their misery over and over again.
So I asked God and he showed me what to do. He told me to create a safe path for them to walk. One where they would be seperated from any negative entities that attached themselves to the lost souls. This will provide a safe place for them to make a choice and give them back their freewill. I created a path with magick, protected it with magick and created two doorways. One doorway would be the one the lost souls would be able to enter into and blocking the attached entities. The other door was a door to heaven. In essense, since light and dark caanot mix nor can heaven and hell, this is when I discovered we are the middle ground between both realms. We are nuetral and can go either or both ways. This also answered why I was directed to create this path. I also asked angels to surround the path and to have extras to help guide people if they needed it. I then opened the gate to heaven and asked Jesus to stand at the entrance. I figured since he had so many followers they would recognize him and feel comfortable going through the doorway. When everything was set into place, I opened the doorway to the dark and souls began to come through. Thousands of souls entered. Once they were in their "safe zone" I noticed that most of them went straight towards the light. There was no talking them into anything, they didn't need my words, they need to experieince for themselves. .Once they felt the peace and unconditional love, that wa sit, they went through. Only a couple of souls changed their mind and so I sent them back to the dark until they are ready. When you experieince that light, you realize that noone can be coxed, you can't talk them into it, you can't bribe or promise anything, they go because the desire for that thing that the light brings to them is stronger then their desire to hang onto what it is that kept them lost. For the most part, any sorrow, any guilt, and sadness, any anger they have, gone... literally, they see the light and all they want at that moment is what that light gives them. Nothing else matters. But they must choose. They must want it more then anything else. Once they accept, that's it, into the light they go! I have seen Jesus denying ANY person from going into the the light..EVER! Nor have I ever seen him question anyone of why they should go in, what makes them worthy, ask if they believed in him or pass out any judgement or denial! NEVER! He greeted each and every one of the souls with open arms and that was it!
This made me realize what Jesus meant about not being able to "earn" your way into heaven. It doesn't matter how horrible a person is or how good of a person you are, because that's not the point! Jesus doesn't judge you. God doesn't judge you, you judge yourself! You make the choice to accept all that heaven has to offer or to stay behind. I know what your asking, because I asked it myself, who is their right mnd would NOT want to go to heaven? Alot of people, actually. The little old lady who died before her husband and isn't ready to leave his side. The little boy who accidently pushed his baby brother and caused a life long injury and blaming himself for it. The good samertian who spent her entire life living in poverty and caring for the sick,saving hundreds but feeling they failed because she couldn't save them all. When you think about letting go, we think, who care's we're dead, but when push comes to shove, it's much harder then we realize. If you ever want to know what it's like, write down on a piece of paper the single most important thing or person in your life. Then walk to the trash, crumple it up and through it away. For the good samartitian that one thing would be the life they lost and just throwing it away. Sure, we know we will meet up again, but it will never be the same as it is now. The love you share with your spouse will no longer be the same love. The love in the light rises above petty jealousies and see's the importance of love and affection your spouse will need with another person and accept this, no matter how close of soulmates you are. Making your presance known will also be more difficult, because your in an entire different state of being. All that you knew will be changed and much of it will be gone. Some accept this and accept it upon death, but many others don't and this is what causes them to deny heaven.
When it comes to hell, I have never seen fire and brimestone. Not when I astral projected and not now. What I have noticed abot hell is the absense of light. It is the absense of love, forgiveness or the essential things that one soul needs in order to move forward. That doesn't mean that it doesn't exsist. What it means is, is one soul views hell as fire and brimestone, they will most likely experieince the hellfire and brimstone. We often create our surroundings through our own perceptions and thoughts. However, even those are subject to change. I had one soul show me that he walked into hell and was surrounded by fire. After a time, the fire died out and everything turned pitch black and he remained there until I met up with him.
I've only had a few glimpses of heaven and figured since I have traveled to hell, it would be nice to experieince heaven. I do know that what I see and experieince of heaven will also be different then another soul, again, because we each have different perspectives and visions. We again create our own little world so in essence there are many different worlds within worlds. Don't hurt your brain on this, it will hurt, but just as we each see differently in life, it is no different in spirit.
One thing remains the same, and that's freewill. This process is the same and each souls have choices. Those who are evil will never be able to enter not because their evil, but because they don't want to let go and embrace what is being offered. I have no dount that if satan himself decided he wanted to change, he would be allowed in, but because of this requirement, it's not likely he would be willing to let go of the world and power in exchange unconditional love and acceptance.
This is my own experieince about heaven and hell and I do not try to convince anyone of anything. My experience will be different then yours and if you would like to share your experieince, I would love to hear it.