I used to believe that we were for a specific reason. A reason that was designated to us by some higher power that we are meant to fulfill before we leave this earth. In my 43 years on this planet, I figured out the purpose of the bigger purpose of our exsistance as whole, or at least what I believe it to be. I have figured out how individual purposes contribute to the whole and how the whole influences our choices as individuals. But, I also realized that even though we may have certain tasks we are called to fulfill, our purpose isn't something designated to us. It's not always destined, in fact, the only thing that seems to be destined are these tasks we are asked to fulfill, but the rest is up to us.
I learned that it's not about finding our purpose in life, but living our lives with purpose, is part of the purpose. For example, I've always been a psychic medium. I have always had the dead around me and for a time I thought my purpose was to be a psychic medium. I realized though that I am not meant to council the dead, I'm more of a gatekeeper for the dead. I bring the light to where they see no light. Once they experieince it, they make a choice. Ok, cool, but that doesn't pay the bills. Then I realized that I could connect with the Angels and give Angel Readings. Great, but I don't feel right about taking money for merely being a messenger. So, another task. I realized that I am a magickal practioner, awesome, I can do all kinds of nifty things, but again,this isn't a career choice. I assumed since most of my pulling was more towards the supernatural, metaphysical, whatever you want to call it, this was my life purpose, something to do with this. But each endevour I attempted, it never worked out if it included making money. So, this purpose, in the way I was assuming I was suppossed to take it, actually seemed to go against that purpose. So, for work I did other jobs. I started my family at age 17 and literally pieced my family together ever since. So, I figured my family was a part of that purpose. But I didn't feel called to have a family, that was my own choice. I have been through quite a few of what would be fairly successful careers that could have lead me to financial stability, but they only filled a small part of the soul. The more spiritual I became, the less this priority became. I've spend most of my life searching for that one thing I was meant to do and found I was meant to do several things. This is when about a month ago it dawned on me, that I have my abilites for specific purposes, but it's not my sole purpose. I'm meant to be a mother because I chose to have children. I'm meant to be a wife because my heart's desire was to have a husband and family. I'm meant to help out in several different ways supernaturally because of the abilites I have, but all of these is only part of my purpose on this earth. The rest is merely finding purpose to the rest of it, and that's where I fall short. Right now, my husband and I are working a home-based buissness that has been helpful financially,but am scared to death I'm going to fail. I never even considered this idea until we moved, yet here I am. And though it fulfills the soul on some aspects, there is still something missing.
For me, I view life as a journey and has treated it as such. I embraced the unknown and took things however they came, and taking the risks no matter what. Even now I am taking a huge risk financially, but outside of everything I hav ever known is this huge world of endless possibilites and risk taking. But what makes this risk any different then any I have ever taken before? I have more to loose if I don't. The risks I have taken before and the choices I had made met with many near-misses. When I started dating my husband, those near misses turned into financial failures, but spiritual abundance. I have grown spiritually more in that 11 years then I have during my entire lifetime .
We often manifest what we desire, and desires change day by day, minute by minute. And my desire is get back what I lost. What we lost. We bought this house so our lives would change. I started this buissness so I could work from home. I want to work from home so I can work on my mariage and be home for the kids. I have worked so hard for this, we all have. I refuse to loose it. I'm not sure is this buissness will be enough right now, but I have to somehow make it work, because if I don't, I will loose everything. And if we truly have the ability to choose, then I choose this. I choose this buissness, I choose this life. On this journey, I'm ready to settle down for awhile and to live a simple life. At this point in time, my purpose is this, this life I have now.
In 5,10 years that purpose may change and I will cross that bridge when it comes, but for now, my purpose is this life we have created for ourselves.
