In his Rule for Monastics, Saint Benedict (480-547) describes a ladder of humility. We climb the ladder by humility, and descend by self exaltation. Humility is not the opposite of pride. Quoting Bernard of Clairvaux, a twelfth-century Benedictine monk, "Humility is founded on truth, with others and with God." Twelve-steppers of Alcoholics Anonymous and others will identify Bernard's statement with the program's fifth step, where we "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs (Alcoholics Anonymous p.59).
Here, I will compare and hopefully illuminate in someway for the growing popularity of Twelve Step spirituality, St. Benedict's wisdom for today. Beginning with his first step of humility from the Rule's (RB) chapter 7: “The first degree of humility, then, is that a person keep the fear of God before his eyes and be aware of ever forgetting it.” In other words, have a reverent recognition that God is God. To coin a phrase; there is a God, and it ain’t me.
In Alcoholics Anonymous (A.A.), the second step reads, we “came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity,” and Twelve-steppers admonish each other, “Our troubles...arise out of ourselves, [we are] an extreme example of self-will run riot, though [we] usually don't think so.” Benedict, paraphrasing scripture says of the second rung of the ladder, “The Lord knows the thoughts of men. Turn away from your own will.” As believers we again must recognize that God's will is best for us. In fact, surrendering and trusting in God's will is the way we begin to know what divine will actually is, and believe that God's will is born out of a perfect love. We cannot go wrong. Theoretically, thinking leads to action and stinking thinking leads to, well, Benedict warns, “There are ways which to men seems right, but the ends of them plunge to the depths of hell.” Thoughts, decisions, actions, all are an exercise in spiritual discernment (more about this later).
The second and third degrees of humility, “is that a person love not his own will nor take pleasure in satisfying his desires, but models his actions...and submit to Superiors in all obedience, imitating the Lord...even unto death” Strong words; this doesn't happen overnight! Twelve-steppers are familiar with the term sponsor. Benedict devotes whole chapters to the role of the Abbot in the monastery. The place of the elders and those who have trudged the path before us cannot be understated. With patient endurance, Benedict wants us to be willing to receive direction and wisdom from these people. He wants us to turn to them in times of anxiety and troubles, to show us the Way. I have heard it said that the only wrong way to “climb” the steps, is to do it alone.
Quoting Benedict's fifth degree in it's entirety:
“The fifth degree of humility is that he hide from his Abbot none of the evil thoughts that enter his heart or the sins committed in secret, but that he humbly confess them. The Scripture urges us to when it says, 'Reveal your way to the Lord, and hope in Him,' and again, 'Confess to the Lord, for He is good, for His mercy endures forever.' And the Prophet likewise says, 'My offense I made known to You, and my iniquities I have not covered up. I will declare against myself my iniquities to the Lord; and You forgave the wickedness of my heart.'”
As we get honest with ourselves, we get to know ourselves. This is not just about confession, but a radical self-knowledge. The A.A. Steps lead not only to acknowledging faults, but to make amends to those we have wronged. The gospel of Matthew is clear in chapter five, “If you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, then leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (verses 23-24). We are a selfish lot, and by selfishly holding onto our faults and character defects we deprive ourselves of forgiveness of others, of God, and of ourselves. This is a path of destruction. We must be rid of guilt and shame; guilt of our past wrong doings, and shame for whom we have become. We are only as sick as our secrets!
The sixth rung on the ladder of humility is that a monk be content with what he has. The common thread, in any addiction, be it alcohol, drugs, food, sex, power, etc... is the addiction to more. We feel entitled and deserving of the expectation that we deserve more and more. We must have “it”. These expectations are only seeds of resentments, for when I don't get what I want, what I expect from you or this or that, my resentment becomes another stumbling block for forgiveness and a wedge in the community of which I am a part. Yielding to reality, and not finding others in contempt; happiness begins to come from less and less rather than more.
Benedict's seventh and eighth degrees correspond with AA's sixth and seventh steps. You didn't expect for them to come together too neatly sequentially, I hope. However, it is worth noting the progression of ideas and the common thread at this stage. We have arrived at a new level of letting go. Letting go of the false sense of self, now considering ourselves in direct relation to others, considering the spiritual axiom that the first will be last, and the humble will be exalted (Mt 20:16ff). This is the ultimate paradox of religious faith. How does it work? Watch the Abbot, your elders and sponsors. It is in freely giving that we receive, giving it away in order to keep it. There is no room for spiritual giants here. Less of me, and more of Thee. I must be rid of the person I think I am in order to become the person that God wills for me to be. What is this will? The acknowledgment that this can't be alone, asking for help, from God and humbling myself before my peers. This takes prayer. Letting go, and letting God. How does it work? In community, and finding ourselves in right relationships with others. Following the good examples of order or Rule. Among agnostics there is a common phrase in applying this principle: G.O.D. , or Good Orderly Direction. Benedict wrote, “that a monk do nothing except what is commended by the common Rule of the monastery and the example of the elders.” We must let go of the notion that our actions ever effect us, and us alone. Realization leading to integration, culminating in transformation.
There's another distasteful motto of twelve-steppers: “remove the cotton from your ears and put it in your mouth!” The ninth degree of humility is a re-emphasis of the Rule's prologue. Listen! “Restrain the tongue and keep silent.” In fact, many commentary’s devote considerable verbiage (ironic?) to the prologue's opening sentence, “Listen, my son, to your master's precepts, and incline the ear of your heart.” And the rule continues, “in much speaking there is no escape...the talkative man is not stable on earth” (RB 7) Is it possible to listen with the heart if the brain is conjuring and impatiently waiting to interrupt with it's own two cents worth?!
The tenth degree concerns itself with “the fool lifting up his voice in laughter,” and I compare it to a few lines from A.A., “A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect...We alcoholics are a sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap” (A.A. p.125). Never ridicule. Benedict takes the instruction further in the eleventh degree, “Speak gently, humbly, seriously. A wise man is known by the fewness of his words.” Speak kindly.
Arriving at step twelve, Benedict's rule reads, “not only to have humility in his heart, but also by his very appearance make it always manifest to those who see him...Having climbed all these steps of humility, therefore, the monk will presently come to that perfect love of God which cast out fear. And all those precepts, which formerly he had not observed without fear, he will now begin to keep because of that love” And in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous - Step twelve, “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”
What is the message? I believe that the underlying message is that we have nothing to fear. Yet, most of us are very afraid. Afraid that we're not good enough, afraid that we want get what we think we need, afraid that we will be abandoned by those we love and cling to, maybe even abandoned by God. The Good News, and often the first words of angelic visitations in the Hebrew and Christian and other sacred writings is, “Be not afraid!” I guess if you're visited by an angel, you could call that a spiritual awakening in A.A. terms. I have met many angels in the fellowship of 12 Step programs, and in the kind quietness of Benedictine and other religious folks. Yet, at times I revert to fear, knowing full well that my Higher Power has better things for me. Knowing and listening with the ear of my heart, there is a whisper from the Master, “Be calm. Do not be afraid of being good enough, I created you, you are a miracle. Be serene. Don't be afraid that you want have what you need, I have provided it already, you just haven't realized it. Don't be afraid when people leave you, I bring you together for reasons that you don't understand, and you move on, but I will never leave you. Never.” Amen
D.V.,
Joseph