WOW....I JUST SAW THAT MY LAST ENTRY WAS FROM MAY 26, 2011. HERE IT IS NEARING THE END OF JULY AND I HAVENT ADDED A WORD. I MENTONED HOW PAINFUL WRITING AND SHARING MY STORY HAS BEEN, BUT RUNNING FROM IT WON'T HELP MATTERS. SO HERE I BEGIN AGAIN......I LEFT OFF WITH HAVING DIVORCED MY SECOND HUSBAND, AND BEING A SINGLE MOTHER......FINANCIALLY I WAS OK. I WAS PRACTICING NURSING AND MAKING A DECENT LIVING FOR THE TWO OF US....THEN INTO MY LIFE CAME A MAN BY THE NAME OF JIM.....DIVORCED HIMSELF, AND WITH 3 SONS OF HIS OWN....WE BEGAN SPENDING ALOT OF TIME TOGETHER, AND EVENTUALLY MARRIED. ACTUALLY, LET ME RE-PHRASE THAT....WE WAY TOO HASTILY MARRIED. THIS MARRIAGE WAS DOOMED FROM THE VERY START. I THINK THAT WE BOTH MARRIED FOR THE WRONG REASONS. OTHERWISE, LIFE WAS JUST OK. MY MOTHER WAS BUSY OPERATING THE HAIR SALON THAT SHE OWNED, AND MY FATHER WAS WORKING FULL-TIME AS A MACHINIST. MY FATHER WAS THE TYPE OF MAN THAT NEVER MISSED A DAYS WORK, BUT IN FEBRUARY 2001....MY FATHER CAME HOME EARLY ON A THURSDAY COMPLAINING OF A HEADACHE AND SOME NECK STIFFNESS. THE FOLLOWING DAY, HE WAS STILL IN BED WHEN MY MOTHER LEFT FOR WORK THAT MORNING....THIS WAS COMPLETELY UNLIKE MY DAD, AND HE WAS STILL COMPLAINING OF A HEADACHE AND NECK STIFFNESS. ON SATURDAY MORNING, MY PHONE RANG, AND IT WAS MY MOTHER, ASKING ME TO CALL AND CHECK ON MY FATHER, AS HE WAS STILL IN BED WHEN SHE LEFT FOR WORK THAT MORNING. I CALLED HIM AND IMMEDIATELY NOTICED THAT HE WAS A BIT CONFUSED. I TOLD HIM THAT I WOULD BE ON MY WAY TO GET HIM AND THAT WE WOULD GO TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM TO TRY TO SEE WHY HE WAS STILL FEELING LIKE THIS. WHEN I ARRIVED AT THEIR HOUSE, THERE STOOD MY FATHER, ONLY PARTIALLY DRESSED, HAIR DISHEVELED HOLDING HIS WALLET AND HEALTH INSURANCE CARD. DURING THE DRIVE TO THE HOSPITAL, I PREPARED MY FATHER FOR WHAT I EXPECTED THAT THEY WOULD DO, ONCE WE ARRIVED IN THE E.R.....I ASSUMED AT THE VERY WORST THEY WOULD DO A SPINAL TAP TO RULE OUT MENENINGITIS, AS THEY WERE CLASSIC SYMTOMS THAT HE WAS HAVING.......I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE WRONG. THEY IMMEDIATELY DID A CAT SCAN...AND THE RESULTS WERE OVERWHELMING....MY WORLD CHANGED IN JUST A MATTER OF MOMENTS. THE CT SCAN SHOWED A VERY LARGE CANCEROUS TUMOR ON MY DADDY'S BRAIN. I WAS HYSTERICAL....BARELY CONSOLABLE...YET I DIDN'T WANT MY DAD TO WITNESS MY FEAR. THAT WAS SATURDAY FEB 12, 2001. HE WAS SO SCARED, AND HAVING NEVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL BEFORE...HE WAS MORE THAN A LITTLE NERVOUS. ON MONDAY FEB 14, 2001...THE SURGEON CAME TO TALK TO MY MOTHER AND I, AND TOLD US THAT THEY WERE GOING TO BE TAKING HIM TO THE OPERATING ROOM LATER THAT SAME DAY TO DO WHAT THEY CALLED A DE-BULKING PROCEDURE....THE SURGEON WAS CERTAIN TO MAKE US AWARE THAT THE SURGERY WAS NOT GOING TO BE A LIFE SAVING MEASURE BUT SIMPLY A COMFORT MEASURE, IN AN ATTEMPT TO LOWER SOME OF THE PRESSURE IN HIS SKULL AND HOPEFULLY RELIEVE HIM OF SOME OF THE HEADACHES. THE SURGEON ENDED HIS CONVERSATION BY GIVING HIM 4 MONTHS TO LIVE. I WAS COMPLETELY NUMB...NOT MY DADDY...THERE MUST BE SOME MISTAKE HERE. FROM THAT DAY FORWARD MY MOTHER NEVER STEPPED FOOT INTO HER HAIR SALON AGAIN, AND IN FACT LISTED IT FOR SALE...BECAUSE SHE WAS GOING TO BE MY FATHERS FULL TIME CARE GIVER. YES, THE MAN THAT VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED HER FOR MANY, MANY YEARS...NOW NEEDED HER MORE THAN ANYTHING....HE HAD TO THEN HUMBLE HIMSELF...AND SHE WILLINGLY AND LOVINGLY BECAME HIS CONSTANT COMPANION, TAKING HIM TO HIS RADIATION AND CHEMOTHERAPY APPOINTMENTS, AND CATERING TO HIS EVERY WHIM. I'M GOING TO STOP THERE FOR TODAY...I CAN FEEL MY EYES WELLING UP WITH TEARS.....SO FOR NOW....I WILL END RIGHT HERE.....AND I PROMISE, THERE WILL NOT BE SOME MUCH TIME LAPSED BEFORE MY NEXT ENTRY!!!....UNTIL THEN, I LOVE YOU ALL.....AND MAY OUR LOVING GOD KEEP YOU WRAPPED SAFELY IN HIS ARMS!!!!
