I have written something like this before…but thought I would try and put it to words again.
We are very emotional beings. We learn by our mistakes and our rewards. Our realities are shaped by our pasts and what we seek for our futures. Not all people see things the same, and it’s the grand diversity that makes us what we are.
But sometimes things happen we can’t let go of. An indiscretion from someone you trust, an abuse that another feels is warranted, a simple wrong that can’t be dealt with. We all have had them happen, a hurt from a lost love, the look of disappointment from a parent, some are big and some small, but they all help shape and guide us as to who and what we are and where we want to go in this life.
But what about those things that you just can’t let go, those things that a sound, or smell, or even a phrase can trip your trigger. You react without thought, it’s an ingrained response. So how do you get past it? How do you stop letting things from the past control you?
To start let’s think of our emotions like a flowing moving energy that runs through a grid like system in your body. Not too different than any other circulation system, a constant flow of energy. Now in this grid there are blockages, places where a wrong doing has occurred, and you haven’t put thought to it to let it go. You left it there, and every time the energy goes to that certain spot through memory, deed, or senses stimulation you relive that hurt. You get angry, sad, or whatever emotion that act caused. You are in a loop of control from your past. Often times one trigger trips another, you feel wronged all over again, and yet nothing has actually happened. It’s a memory, nothing more.
The only way to stop the blockages, to get past that learned response is to forgive. Most will say “how can I forgive something so horrible” or “they don’t deserve forgiveness”. Maybe they don’t, but YOU DO. Forgiving doesn’t make what they did right, nor does it make it wrong. It just allows you to let it go. Keep the lesson, learn from the pain, but don’t live it. In your heart of hearts tell yourself that you will allow this person, act, event to have happened. Allow people to be human, and humans make mistakes. None are perfect. If you were part of the problem, acknowledge that without judgment. There is no right or wrong here, there are no winners or losers, it’s just a series of events that happened and taught you something. Most times they give you strength, sometimes they give you fear, often times it comes to the forefront as grief; grief from loss of faith, loss of love, loss of self. We mourn things so easily, some mourn every Monday morning as the weekend ends.
But allow these lessons. But don’t let them control you. Seek wisdom from your faith, your inner self, your higher being. Not from outside influences, they will help you judge and find a way to rationalize your reaction. But from inside, that place that knows what is really best for you.
Once you let go of the judgment and the pain you can continue to grow and become what you are meant to be without interference from the past. What an amazing concept that is!
