I haven't been on this site for as long as some of you. Im not as old as some of you. I have a different experience set. I hold different beliefs than many of you. I know this site is supposed to be a place of tolerance and coexistence for the support and encouragement of ordained persons of all paths. I'm happy to have found this place. I enjoy the different points of view, the various shades of humor, and I'm very pleased to have found a handful of wonderful people with whom I share common ground and can engage in meaningful conversations to enrich the site experience. That being said, I need to put this out there:
It's time to grow up, my friends.
We're ordained. That means we serve as guides, teachers, counselors, examples, leaders or advocates. Regardless of your chosen path, you've chosen to seek ordainment for one reason or another and this singles you out among your own group. We set example by how we live, react and interact with each other. This is not a tolerance rant. This is about something maybe more difficult: INTEGRITY.
Day after day I read info blurbs that all start to sound like people interviewing for a position at an ordination firm. How open minded they are, how you can talk to them about anything, that they don't judge others, and will show you respect regardless of the path you walk... Statements of brotherhood and righteousness and ministry.
And then day after day I see these same people disrespecting themselves and each other; making personal attacks, typing for no other reason than to read their own words, making posts just to seem more important. Discussions are filled with ego, pretention, assumptions, presumptions, sexism, snarkiness, thinly veiled disdain and outright disrespect.
It's wrong. Pure and simple. It's prideful and obnoxious and beneath the behavior that a group of ordained individuals should be presenting. And of equal concern, it goes on without opposition. Seldom is it addressed even among those in the same path; seldom called out, rarely even acknowledged.
I'm not talking about the rare outburst, the infrequent off hand remark on a bad day. I'm referring to habitual repeated behavior towards multiple people; consistent hypocrisy in contrast to stated beliefs, and an absence of peer oversight in defense of a peaceful respectful place to air ideas and share views.
So I put it to you. Look at the remarks you've made in the last 2 days. Would you accept these comments if they were addressed to you? Are they acceptable? Do you know how to attack an IDEA without attacking a person? There is NO excuse for launching a personal attack in retaliation for disagreement. Do you realize what constitutes a personal attack so you can refrain from making them? What are you assuming about other members? How are you assumptions biasing your reactions (or better or worse)? How much time do you take to think through a comment and weigh it before you type?
We're all human, and personally I'm far from perfect. If we want to see less of the petty bickering and the nasty attacks, we need to be accountable to ourselves for our actions and comments, and we need to support our peers and expect them to be true to their stated beliefs. When we see the opposite, we need to speak up. There are some members that exhibit so much grace in this regard, that I find them inspiring regardless of the fact that I could never agree with their faith. There are those who will see this blog as "talking about them". This is not about any one person, this is commentary on a trend that's sadly permeating the site as far as I can see. If this still yells "she's talking about me" to you, then take it to heart and make the changes you need to realign yourself introspectively.
I'd like to encourage all of us to be the example the people we work with deserve to see, in words and actions, not just to the people we deal with in ministry and our personal lives - but to each other as well. Thanks for reading, I wish you all peace.
We should be held to a higher standard.... more