We all believe that sex and love go together and that marital sex is a beautiful thing. We are right in believing this because sex in marriage was God's idea. Some may say blasphemy and call it out as improperm but the scripture supports the notion of marital sex building strong relationships, being beautiful between spouses and being something shared as we grow in our marriage and our love.
Proverbs 5:15-19 states, Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
These verses clearly demontrate that sex within a marriage builds intimacy and authentic love. The best book, in my opinion, that represents the design of God for sex in marriage is the Song of Solomon, also called the Song of Songs and the Canticles. This book shows that God created the institution of marriage, and designed sex to be the ultimate intimacy creator.
Song of Solomon shows detailed descriptions of sexual playfulness between a young husband and wife. There are direct references to foreplay and sex, and that sexuality is expressed without shame, is honorable, and a significant part of any marriage! Song of Solomon 7:6-9 states, How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights!
Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.
The response from the young wife is in verses 10 - 13, May the wine go straight to my beloved, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I belong to my beloved, and his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside, let us spend the night in the villages. Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom—there I will give you my love. The mandrakes send out their fragrance, and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old, that I have stored up for you, my beloved.
The view that sex is bad, dirty or should be hidden in shame is not supported by the Bible and is even seen in the Song of Solomon as a shared discussion among friends.
Romance is referred to as intoxicating like wine and that we should become drunk with love.
Paul taught Christians in Corinth that husbands and wives have sexual needs and should have sex frequently. 1 Corinthians 7:2-5 states this quite clearly, But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Here we are taught to only mutually withhold sex for a time in order to devote ourselves to prayer. We are taught to have sex frequently to have resistance from sexual immorality, from finding sex outside of our marriage.
In counseling many married couples over the years, it is most often the cause of infidelity that spouses are not having sex, or if they are, it is very infrequent. Spouses, be more intimate with your partner. Become drunk with them in love. It is God's idea.