COMPATIBILITY. We've all heard that word, especially when it comes to significant relationships--partnerships and marriage. In the workplace its often refered to as " a good fit ". But what does this really mean anyway? Everyone has some idea of what makes a couple or group of people compatibile.
Some stress likemindedness. Some swear by the old adage that "opposites attract". Some feel that a similar culture or religious heritage is very important. Others think that having similar interests--hobbies or career goals--are of greatest importance. Either way everyone seems to have strong opinions on what goes together. When our children were young even Sesame Street sang a tune which began with the words, " Which of these things belong together, which of these things are kinda the same. "
For Mother Nanhi and Father Leslie (Mary & Les) it soon became apparent that there were more than enough people who didn't understand what Minister Gene Smith said when he said, forever hold your peace. Nor did they seem to respect the closing seal placed on the marriage partnership--what GOD has joined together let no one tear apart.
SO how did this affect us and how will it affect every couple who is joined in partnership by YOU as ULC ordained ministers? It may not seem important now, but we strongly recommend you include this discussion in your pre-marital counseling discussions. Not just a discussion of what how others might define one's complementary traits but how the couple themselves feel they complete one another.
Perhaps the best anecdote I have found to explain this simply is by using our oldest daughter's retort to a curious onlooker. Our oldest daughter had been asked by her father to visit a local convenience store to get a "wake the dead" cup of coffee. The girls understood that this is what helped Dad stave off a migraine. On this particular day our daughter was alone but returned from the store not only with a good stiff cup of coffee but a tale to tell. A woman approached her as she was stirring in the last of the sugar packets and asked, " Excuse me, are you mulatto. " Having only encountered this term in books and with little frequency, Cee responded, no its not mocha, its just strong coffee. The woman was not detered. " So sorry dear, but well, I just wanted to know, are you mixed. " Cee caught on immediately. Well she had asked to have her curiosity satisfied so here goes nothing though Cee. " Mam, are you asking about my parents." " Yes, dear..."
" Well if you really must know I do have 2 different parents. One is male and the other is female. "
With that she turned on her heels, paid for the coffee and left.
One wonders what would have happened if she had said one is tall and one is short.
WE invite you to comment here or vote on our pole...share your thoughts on compatibility...in general.
Remember when it comes to Mother Nanhi & Father Leslie...forever hold your peace.
WE invite others to share their own experiences here as well both as couples or related to couples they have counseled or married. WE WILL ALL BENEFIT from each others observations, thoughts and ideas.
In Honor Of Justice with Peace & Peace with Justice in Matters of the Heart,
ELDER MOTHER NANHI
