A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world: everyone you meet is your mirror.
- Ken Keyes Jr.
EVERY MORNING MOST OF US TAKE AT LEAST ONE GLANCE INTO THE MIRROR. But what would happen if suddenly one morning you literally saw nothing at all. Suppose you had just plain disappeared from sight?! It would be a little unsettling and a little startling to say the least.
FATHER LESLIE GOES THROUGH THIS EVERY MORNING. Arising and making his way to the bathroom like the rest of us he stops at the mirror above the sink to see if he is still there. Sometimes there is an outline, sometimes a shadow, sometimes just a glare of light coming from the area where the mirror should be. And how many of us would want to walk in his shoes, not knowing from one day or moment until the next how much we could see or whether we could see anything at all.
His visual impairment is such that it can change rapidly, without warning and he is never quite aware of how much he is seeing or not seeing. This forces him to rely on other points of reference as his constant. If each of us had to experience for even one week what this is like I guarantee you we would be a changed person. More patient? Perhaps. Most likely, more frustrated. We all like to be in control of what we see.
PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING.
Today when you meet another person try for just one moment to imagine what life would be like if you truly walked around seeing the world through their eyes, hearing the world with their ears and holding the world with their hands. Are they of a different height, weight or ethnic/religious background? Are they wrong and you are right? We don't like to admit it but we get stuck in that position often to the point of sheer embarrassment that cannot be apologized or explained away. That's where the graciousness of another and the GRACE OF GOD is so important to RELY ON.
In an impromptu conversation several years ago Father Leslie and I were discussing some important decisions which we were wrestling with for our family and our lives. In the midst of this conversation Father Leslie blurted out in frustration, " You know that's the problem. You always ask a white person first about something before you even talk to me. " Having been trained to accept the perception of others as truth, I took a couple steps back to consider what he had just said. In all our years of marriage I had never heard this one. But it was important that I hear it and respond in kind with kindness.
The first image that came to mind was one of myself looking into the bathroom mirror each morning. Looking at my white face. Talking to myself about everything I had to do that day so that I wouldn't forget. Then came the other mirrors in the middle of the day and at the end of the day. In each instance I was talking to myself about what I thought. AND THEN THE THOUGHT CAME, " If I don't love what I see when I look in the mirror, then how can I love what others see? "
LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF.
After a slow motion trip to count to 10, my response to Father Leslie was simple. " Yes, Leslie. You're right. I do always TALK TO A WHITE PERSON FIRST. I look in the mirror and TALK TO MYSELF and ask myself what I think. "
After an initial shock, Father Leslie smiled, looked at the ground and then in a few moments lifted his head. " I guess we all have to love what we see in the mirror don't we? "
HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR LATELY?
HAVE YOU LOOKED IN THE MIRROR WITH SOMEONE ELSE LATELY?
~ MOTHER NANHI ~ 9-29-2010
