Good day to all. I first want to say that this site has helped become a better person. I have read the entire site. I am amazed that my ignorance, has gotten the best of me.
I would like you to know this is not a scam or a piece of writing to just get a reaction or simpathy.. I came here hoping that I may allow myself to relieve my anger, frustration, and disapointment in myself and others.
As I have never in my life held a grudge against anyone, I am finding that some of my actions show that I am holding a grudge. Is the real definition of holding a grudge, not speaking to someone for reasons that do nothing but cause termoil?
This ponders me deeply. This also came about after what has happened to me lately. What has happened, is 7 years ago i had neck surgery, then three lower back surgerys in same place then a 99 percent blockage in heart which left me with heart attack and an open mind of thankfullness. The back surgerys left my left leg messed up. I used to do automotive work on vehicles for almost 20 years. On top of that all kinds of handyman things, all kinds of handyman things to. I was on disability/ longterm disability through my employer. January 27 2013 they sent me certified letter, no more pay starting January 1 2013. So at this time I am in dire straights for help/ I live in an arean there is no work, and there is not anyone that can keep from being almost homeless. As a single person in America, you can not get help that can pull you through the bad times from State or Government.
I am savy on daily issues and worldly issues. This day and age it is sad to think and say that you have to lie to get ahead. Ive reached out to all kinds of people in my life, and have given shirt off my back in time of need to others. Yet, when i a few years ago decided i needed away from all negative environments and people. Even those who I have helped wont help. I am at ease with no negative people in my life.
I suppose maybe I am venting, yet crying out to have advice on what to do? I am not sure if i can keep internet on much longer, and many other things have left. it is a mazing that I am being tested, yet I know that I want happiness, just have a moutain to get over.
I appreciate that you took time to read some of my rants. I know that when and if i can find help. the return will be great, especially toward kids who need to know what real life is and how to keep from being caught up in the rate race of hate, stealing, and lieing.
Thank you for your friendship,
Gods Speed to you,
Charles Bex
