This year, 2018, is coming to an end. Close behind it, in just one more year, we will see the end of the second decade of the millennium as we usher in 2020. I woke up this morning to another glorious day in paradise and considered where I truly am, where my life is, right now.
It is hard to believe that almost twenty years have passed since my life was turned upside down in a divorce which cost me everything I held dear and also taught me, for the first time in my life, about hate. It was harder to believe it only took me about five years afterward to recover from it, with the help and love of friends and family. During this journey, I re-discovered something I had written and forgotten. I was reminded of how love never dies. I was reminded how to forgive.
I am rich.
I still have my children, and now I celebrate two marvelous grandchildren, as well. Both of my parents still live, and I am learning of the extended family of my mother’s which live close by.
I have re-discovered my path which lost so many years ago when I was drafted and opted, instead, to join the military. My career was close to 23 years of growing up, redefining priorities and moralities, and defining who I would ultimately become.
I am not wealthy. I live from retirement check to retirement check. Yet, I am rich.
I give to those less fortunate. I volunteer my time as a chaplain, and as a weekly mentor to those souls who, also, suffer from post-traumatic stress. I discovered PTSD is something you might not realize you have until it destroys your life. You can be so focused on your battles you don’t realize emotions as they’re slowly stripped away. You think you care, and then you discover you’ve forgotten how to. It’s like losing an arm, a part of you, and not realizing it because of the adrenalin coursing through your body.
I see small children and I cry. I remember the years I was not with my own children, or not allowed. I admonish parents who think of risking the loss of their own parenthood due to some selfish priority they place above the child. I share my own humility, in tears if necessary, to try and make them understand the possible consequences of their own choices.
After more than fifty years of life, I found what I was looking for, as I do each and every life. It always seems to take too long, and always for the same reason. War, military service, responsibility, and patriotism, always seem to get in the way. I look forward to a life steeped in peace. Maybe, then, I can find what I truly seek early on and cherish it for a lifetime.
Now, at this moment, between the ticks of the clock, I am at peace. This body will survive into the third decade of this millennium, and I will live to see mankind reach for the stars, once again. The next life will be another adventure.
I am truly rich.
