Lately my Spirit Guides (I call them Spirit Guides because they are Spirits that Guide my Spirit) have really been teaching me about the art of allowance and letting go. That goes along with the art of forgiveness.
On Tuesday May 22 2012 I got one of those phone calls a mother should never get. My Mother answered the phone it was my son’s number but the hospital calling. They informed my mother that my 25 year old son John Marco got hit by a car. With very little information to go on about his condition and exactly what happen. My mother and I went to the hospital to see my distraught son. While on the way to the hospital Mom sobbed this must be really critical because they asked if we are coming down right away and they asked if I’m bringing the mother. She added he may be dying. Mom has always been that way looks at the most dramatic worse outcome. I replied to Mom that I can’t think that way, what I do think is that he may be in serious condition but he is obviously conscious enough to ask for his mother. I went on to explain that somehow the hospital knew to ask if you were bringing his mother. They knew to call this number they knew I was living here and they knew he doesn’t have contact with his father or they would have asked for his parents. I told my mother John Marco just got hit by a car he’s frightened naturally he would want his mother, that’s why the hospital wants to know if we’re coming right away and if you’re brining his mom. Us being there would calm him down help him to feel better. I’m going to hold onto that I must hold onto that. I was right, we got to the hospital just in time to see my son for a few moments before they took him to get a cat scan. John Marco was somewhat out of it thinking he had awakened from a dream and ended up in the hospital, he had enough consciousness to recognize me and talk a bit. It took a while before he remembered enough to tell me his side of the story. I went and bought the police report so that I could read what they had and get a better picture of what happen. I wondered how the woman felt that hit my son, did she feel remorseful at all or did she only care about herself. I looked up her number online called it the person on the other end answered claiming it was Wal-Mart supercenter. I checked the number again on several different sites called it again the next day got the same answer Wal-Mart supercenter. I asked them which Wal-Mart is this, it happen to be the one at the same corner John Marco got hit at. I asked them what their number is, it wasn’t anything like the number I just called. I replied, if you are (this person) all I want to know is do you have any remorse for hitting my son, how do you feel about it that’s all I want to know. She continued to claim it was Wal-Mart supercenter. Disappointed and upset I gave up. If she is going out of her way to avoid me the mother of the child she hit she must not care I thought to myself. I’ve looked up every number I could find for Wal-Mart none fit the number given on the net for her. I realize she may have forward her number to Wal-Mart so she doesn’t have to deal with it. If she only had remorse I thought to myself if she only cared about the boy she hit I would let her know my son is alive and well. If she don’t know I’m not going to let her know now. I felt anger; I wanted to get her back for not caring about what she did to my son. After a while I began to forgive. I decided it wasn’t important that she felt the way I think she should feel. She had her own demons to deal with. I’m only hurting myself by holding onto anger over something I can’t do anything about. Even if I sought revenge it doesn’t change what happen. This week has been spent taking care of my son who is getting better each day. He has a Doctor’s appointment on Friday, hopefully the swelling has gone down enough that they can take the splint off and put on a cast. He will probably be getting the stitches out Friday if not soon. For the rest of his life he won’t be able to go through a metal detector because he has a pin in his tibia and a steal plate in his fibula that will be there the rest of his life. My son is alive, I’m grateful for that, the woman who hit him will have to live with what she did. I’m thankful I’m not her, I never want to live with something like that. I’ve learned how one can forgive when someone has harmed their own child. Because the most important things isn’t that she suffer for what she did. The most important thing is that we all heal from this and grow stronger from the experience of it. I hope my son knows how important he is to me. How important he is to all of us. I’m doing what I can to make something good out of this. I’m thankful for my Spirit Guides and that I listen more to them. For it is they that got me through this, through the anger, and the hate. It is them that taught me how to love thy enemy. They taught me to see things in the eyes of those who harm, with that I have a better understanding. That’s not to say that It’s okay to harm others or that those who harm are excused. It is to say that it brings peace to me so I can let go and with that can be harmed no more.
