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Posted by Austin Malcome
May 11, 2014 -
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824 views
I sit staring into my rapidly cooling tea,early in the morning, a middle aged man beset by insomnia.Life continues to take meeting in strange and unpredictable directions, and I'm trying to keep up.When I was much, much younger, my only goal in life was to help others,to make a difference. After awhile,I became jaded and cynical, and for a long time I really didn't think that anyone or anything could make a difference in this world.Honestly, I have trouble believing that positive changes will ever occur on a large scale.That's where I have to exercise faith,I suppose-but it's not easy.So how can I make a difference? How can I help anyone? I keep praying, and trying, and working, and listening and reading posts on this site.I hope to start a church soon-a new type of church, s revolutionary church -and I trust fate and the spirits and Deity,and I have faith in them-but I question their faith in me,and my ability to live up to the responsibilities entrusted to me.I feel a strong calling,but it can seem vague and obtuse at times.My philosophies offend others,and thus I am hesitant to share them.There are people in my life that I have the ability to help,but lack the desire to help-surely that is the definition of sin.Ahh,well. I'm going to lay my head down now,and pray for sleep and wisdom. If you wish it,petition your Gods on my behalf -I could use their consideration. A
