A toxic church often mistreats staff associates and it's member's. A toxic church exists when doing becomes more important than being. People in a toxic church believe their service to God is keeping church systems functioning. They believe God’s blessing results in bigger budgets for bigger buildings to accommodate more people. Looking successful replaces love as the key ingredient.
A healing church speaks of Christ residing in people, not in buildings or programs. This kind of church encourages participants to be genuine, not appearance-oriented or performance-driven. When churches emphasize loving, caring, and being, staff associates can enjoy being part of a healing organization.
Church members looking to make things better can make problems worse. Senior pastors can brand associates who offer too many suggestions or seek to change the program as rebellious and disloyal. Senior pastors routinely discipline or terminate them. If they report their mistreatment, district officials often do not act on these reports because they tend to support incumbent pastors.
So, what do you do if the dynamics of a toxic church are wounding you or your senior pastor is mistreating you? The answer: Exit as soon as possible. In reality, leaving is not easy because most staff associates serve out of loyalty to God and the ministry. They will not easily walk away from an appointment. Also, victimized individuals tend to deny, minimize, and rationalize their mistreatment. They cannot believe that something bad is happening to them, or they convince themselves that the situation will not get worse. But it will get worse.
If you are a wounded associate or member, consider the following principles you can draw on to promote your healing:
Know you are not going crazy. With the emotional extremes you are feeling, it is important to know the pain is real and it is not your fault.
Talk and pray. Find safe, trusted people with whom you can talk to and pray.
Be honest. Do not be afraid to honestly vent your feelings.
Use a support system. Never meet with a wounding agent alone. Always take someone with you.
Look to Jesus as your Healer. Jesus will use what you have experienced for good. Trust Him to provide process and encounter experiences to expedite your recovery.
