April 26, 2014 was my first time officiating a marriage! Definitely one of the most exciting things I've experienced in awhile, and I got some wonderful and encouraging feedback.
A few months ago, a couple of friends asked if I would do the honors, and I decided to give it a shot. This was for a friend that I've known longer than any other. Leading up to the big day, I got ordained, got the certification, and had plenty of discussion with a friend of mine who had also been ordained by the ULC and had performed marriages.
Even with all of that, my nerves were still lit up the day before, and even of. Luckily, my hand wasn't shaking like the groom's was... Things started out an hour before the ceremony was supposed to begin with a drink of 15 year old scotch among the groomsmen, groom and me. I say "supposed to begin" because the bride's family showed up an hour late. Nothing to worry about, really. I ended up singing Sinatra to keep people entertained during a random silent moment.
Step one to public performing, be willing to control the environment. That is something I'm very grateful that I know how to do well, but it wasn't until recently when I became a martial art instructor that I was able to use authority of any kind. But this was a great way to break the ice and create an atmosphere that was fun, upbeat, and still retained sanctity. Had I opted for another person's request for "Poker Face," I couldn't guarantee the same. ;) For a moment there, it felt more like a funeral - a very serious tone, so this seemed to be a great way to get things revived.
Once the bride's family arrived, we got started. Step two to performing well, check your own weather forecast. Something I neglected to take into account was the emotional level I'd have to work within. As soon as I saw my friend in her dress walk down to the stage, I about busted up immediately. Knowing it'd be poor form to take the speech I worked on and blubber through it between deep gasps of "oh my god, this is too beautiful!" I had to quickly regain myself as much as possible. I feel it went well; I was able to keep myself composed and read my words at the pace I wanted, but it noticeably effected how open I was with my voice. Something to keep in mind for next time, definitely.
Speaking of the reading, I didn't look up very many times. I was much more minded toward getting the words delivered correctly. This is a novice mistake, and I accept that. I'm just not seasoned in this arena yet. However, it would also help to run through it a few more times, I think.
Overall, the experience went very well, and as I mentioned, I got very positive feedback. After the ceremony, the reception was very fun, and I was able to meet some very cool people. It's such a wonderful experience, and I'm really looking forward to doing it again.
Here is the speech I prepared for the ceremony. Feel free to comment, give feedback, ask questions, take what sticks out to you and use it with permission. Thanks for reading, guys!
There have been several instances in my life that I look back on, certain knots in my rope that provided the grips that allowed me to climb to where I am today. Had they not been there, I have literally no idea where I'd be.
Certainly not here. Of all the points in my life, Jake contributed to some major ones. Without his influence, I may not have become a musician. Without music - my safe haven, my mode of expression to make sense of the inutterable, since words can only go so far - it's likely that I would not have survived the chaotic throes of life.
He was the catalyst for my pursuit in a lifelong passion. Without the knots he tied, I would have a lot of "would not"s. Would not be: a bass player, a musician, an instructor in my martial art - since it was through music and mutual friends that brought me to it - I would not have fallen in love with a bnad that continues to change my life for the better.
And I certainly would not be "tying the knot" for others.
It's a rare and sacred thing to have that kind of influence on aperson's life, and a rare and sacred honor to be able to return the favor now, over 15 years later. I am very blessed and grateful to have his friendship.
Thank you for everything, Jake. Both seen and unseen, you've provided a pivotal role in my life.
Kindrid spirits are there to tie the supporting knots in each other's ropes and to untie the ones that are in the way. It's a privilege to tie this knot for you today. I pray that it's one of great importance, one in which will help you climb higher in life alongside your beautiful wife.
You're a good man with a good heart, Jake, and I trust that Danielle is the one who knows it best and will protect and nurture it better than anyone else for you.
Though Danielle and I don't go back as far, connections are made for reasons often beyond our cognitive or conceptual grasp.
A few things I can tell about Danielle, she has a deep sense about her. The conversations we've had have been revealing of a person of profound and unique beauty, and a true, open and caring listener. I sense a sincerity that is downright inspiring, and I get the feeling that whatever is being kept under wraps is a heart that could help add peace to anyone's life.
If my intuition is correct, then Jake is especially lucky.
As I mentioned, connections are often made for reasons beyond our comprehension. As this new journey and story unfolds for you, I wish for you to continually discover new reasons for this wonderful connection you have, bringing you continually closer. That your reasons for loving, trusting, appreciating and remaining humbe and open to each other are more convincing than any excuse to criticize, doubt, blame or hide from yourselves and each other. Continually nurture those reasons and continue to find new ones.
None of this was accidental, and it is my sincere blessing that you two will continue to grow and deepen your love and connection with each other, yourselves and, most importantly, with your Essence. As you deepen your relationship, let it simultaneously strengthen your personal growth, and as you grow individually, allow those newfound personal elements to forge more strength and excitement in your relationship.
Continue tying knots that help each other climb, and continue to untie knots that bind each other. May your goal with each other be freedom - liberation from anything that poisons or holds you back. Always remember: whether in the act of creating that which is good for us and deconstructing that which either no longer is or never was good for us, or creating that which is bad for us and deconstructing that which is good for us: "we" can do a lot more than "you and I."
