Good Morning!
Well, yesterdays prayer focus was about our unififcation. Skip sugggested a mantra of "God is, I am".
By the time I go to work and settled into my routine, I had forgotten Skip's mantra, so I used one I thought was close, "I am one with God< God is a part of me, I am one with God" and with that mantra, as I thought the words, I envisioned God as part of my cellular composition. God and I could not be seperate, he / it created me, composed my physical body, a spark that grew from it's thought, the Divine mind. God is a part of me.. as i worked and returned to the thought after life's conversations and distractions, I felt great comfort, secure, and very happy.
Working through the day I was able to return to the mantra when mind time allowed, when I was not having to concentrate on a task or conversation.
I did very well with it most of the day until the late afternoon when a workmate came to me to ask me to do her job for her. And due to what my assignments were from my boss, I thought I would be unable to do the finishing work of her job for her, so I told her "No, I won't be able to do that for you,", then I told her what the expectation was of me before I left for the day. She instantly became angry, stormed through the bakery to her station, and began to complain to everyone we worked with about how she would never help me, how dare I, and on and on. I was in a physical position where I could watch, and in front of the public giving a demonstration, which I was expected to maintain! My boss had given me the assignment. This is when I faltered. I am the new kid on the block, so to speak. I have only been at this job 1 month but have enjoyed and been doing well. this was my 1st head on with one of the other staff. (you always know that sooner or later something, some kind of conflict will come up somehow). She made sure she told each person we worked with, including my boss, how I refused to "help" her, and how indignant she was. Fortunately, my boss came to me, told me I was right in what I had told her, and not ot worry about it. But still, I was rattled.
The simple request turned into a drama, unnecessarily. And I felt myself, my inner security weaken as my thoughts of now being disliked by someone, of causing "trouble" in her life, and being embarassed by her centering me out for saying no, the importance of being accepted there, over took my mantra, fear slipped in, and I came home feeling like I had failed at something.
The discomfort and feeling of failure sat in the background of my mind all night even though I tried to justify my behavior and how I handled the situation. I had even gone to her to try and talk ot her before she left, but she would have no part of me.
I have worked on using this mantra, and ones like it for a long time. And Skip suggests not moving on until this one is solid in me, a real unshakable part of me. (sigh) I may die before I am that strong, and that secure in the world that demands me to conform, that demands I bend and do whatever it takes to be liked. Sometimes "No" is the right thing to say!
I will contiue to pracitce the mantra, "God is a part of me" or " God is, I am", or my favorite that now brings me almost instant calmness, "I am that I am", as I move forward with the 21 Days of Prayer.
I am , too often, an insecure work in progress, that does not want to "make waves". Perhaps the point of thses little life trials is for me to build confidence and strength that the waves others feel, need not move or shake my faith. I'll work on it. Apparently, today I have been given another day to feel it. I know because I'm breathing.
Here's todays Prayer focus. Have a great day.
PS, thanks for the note Rev. Jeff. It's nice to have encouragement. It provided balance in my day. thank you.
Just For Today “21 Days of Prayer-Day 12”21 Days of Prayer
Meditative Thought: Prayer Treatment Step 4 – Realization: The realization step is about what you know. “I know,” are the words that anchor this step. Remember, a treatment is an affirmative prayer. It’s not about begging for something, it’s about what you know to be true. “I know that I am abundant. I know that my life is full of grace. I know that all is well in my life.” By stating these words of truth, we plant the seed allowing the Universe to do its thing.
Spiritual Assignment: Today, remember your divine qualities by saying, “I know…” and fill in the qualities that is seeking to be activated in you.
Affirmations: Just for today, I know, that I know, that I know! Amen.
Skip Jennings
The Urban Mystic
Light Coach and Reiki Healer
