I am tired of hiding who I am. Raised by parents who were lapsed catholics and then I became a baptist. I liked being baptist and I went along with everything, including knocking on doors (which really made me feel uncomfortable) and asking people if they knew for SURE that they were going to heaven.
Now, at age 49, I guess I have my own opinion of who I feel God is and who I feel I am. I don't go to church. I feel that church has become so intermingled with politics that it just bothers me.
I want to live my life freely. I want to love and to show love. I want to give of my money, time and my talents to those who need it, not those who have a building fund and require money in an envelope on Sunday.
As a woman, every single person that I ever knew in the baptist religion would shun me for becoming ordained. I actually first was ordained secretly in 2007 and only told my husband. But these people who were my friends, since I resigned my membership in the baptist church, back in 1995 have never talked to me anyway, even when I have tried to make some social contact through facebook or whatever.
If I am not in the pew, I cease to be their "church family" or even their friend.
I want to love. I am not perfect. I swear. I hate wearing dresses. I get angry. I eat too much. But I do feel a sense of peace after having received my ordination certificates today.
I am me. Loud and clear.
