I support a Jubilee of Mercy for all people, regardless of religion or spiritual belief.
You may or may not know that the Roman Catholic Church is celebrating a Jubilee Year of Mercy. There have been Masses said, special prayers, special lectures on the topic, and pilgrimages with special rituals, like the intentional passing through Mercy Doors. (“Open the Doors to Mercy”) And, as someone who is a non-theist, I recognize that many of these things probably have little value on an external scale, and while some of the focus and teachings on Sin involved can be harmful, the focus on Mercy is one that I think has the potential to bear fruit and one that I think all peoples may want to consider.
While special prayers or rituals may or may not make an external change, they can affect our hearts, and they have worth for that. I’m one of those people who thinks “Don’t pray it; do it.” but I also recognize the value of prayer (or internal dialog) to soothe, to inspire, to help express our innermost longings. Reflection on the concept of Mercy & how we can practice it more is a valuable thing, for our world can really use more of it. And rituals utilize the body & mind to create change in our hearts and in ourselves… our passing through a door intentionally while focusing on a subject can act as an anchor point, as a catalyst to change. It’s something enough out of the ordinary that it helps us remember it in the future, and involving the body as well as the mind creates multi-sensory memories that we can go back to when our quest needs reinvigorating.
Compassion and/or forgiveness is something in low supply in the popular dialog right now. There are ways of calling out people’s wrongs and holding them accountable, but while still doing it with love and understanding. If the point is to actually have these wrongs rectified, then not just saying “you’re doing wrong” but helping point towards right, and giving resources & support towards doing good is a much more fruitful practice than mere condemnation.
I understand… some people make us so angry (or hurt us so much), that it would be impossible to try to then interact with them in loving ways without hurting ourselves. And I think there needs to be space for that. But to see our work as an ingathering instead of a separation… a place where we try to bring everyone back to righteousness instead of merely condemning them for straying or doing wrong… to practice mercy instead of ruthlessness… what kind of society would come from this?
I find it’s helpful to try to put ourselves in the shoes of others when they do wrong. WHY did they do this? WHY do they espouse this? WHAT could make a person think that that is the way is right? Or did they momentarily prioritize other things above right, like fear? Is their life on a trajectory away from right, because of fear, shame, anger, or other deep-seated emotions (that our society likes to deny us and take away our right to express)? It helps me understand them better, and understand how and why this could happen, because I’ve probably had similar moments of doubt and fear in my own life. Exercising compassion is not at odds with holding accountable… rather, it allows us to hold accountable in ways that harm others the least. It also allows us to dissipate and/or channel our anger and hatred into different forms of expression, ones that hold us accountable as well for the way that we express & deal with our feelings.
Frankly, when I practice compassion, my need to lash out, to hate, to put down, to verbally abuse dissipates. To let that rage dissipate is not letting them off the hook. It’s not NOT being angry. What happened is still wrong, and it’s still not ok, and I still have a problem with it. Practicing compassion is a way of bringing ourselves back to center in a way that allows us to be more effective in our pursuit of justice. We won’t commit wrongs in the name of right, and we’ll create an environment where the other person is safe to admit wrongs, to ask for forgiveness, to ask for help, and to change. Change requires vulnerability, and we need to create safe places to be vulnerable.
To feel compassion for others when they do wrong is to remind ourselves that there but for the grace of whatever goes us. That could just as easily have been us in some alternate universe. I notice that those dedicated to social justice sometimes have this idea that they have never done anything wrong and that they never could do wrong. “I would never do that! I could never do that!” But we weren’t all born enlightened and aware. Some were raised in liberal households… others embraced the conservative values they were surrounded by but changed their minds later. Humility is required to put ourselves in others’ shoes. To remind ourselves that we, too, were “young and stupid” at one point. (And “young and stupid” can be a state of mind, not necessarily a function of years. Not everyone develops ethically at the same rate.) Everyone struggles with something. You can use your own struggle to remind yourself that maybe this thing that you think is obvious and easy is hard and not so obvious to others. That perhaps their own fear is holding them back from being the best person they can be.
And forgiveness… forgiveness is so crucial to all of this. Forgiveness is required to create that safe space of change for the person who did wrong. I’m a big believer in Authentic Forgiveness. That is, I don’t ask for forgiveness when I do wrong until I’m actually feeling like I’ve done something wrong and want forgiveness. And I do not give forgiveness to people until I actually feel like I can truly forgive them. Sometimes this means searching for a different thing to apologize for. Sometimes I apologize not for what I did, but I express my remorse and regret at how it has affected our relationship, or how it has hurt the other person. But it always means that when I ask for forgiveness, or I give it, I genuinely mean it.
When others know that our forgiveness is real, and that we’re coming at this from a place of loving kindness and making a place to admit to wrong, to BE wrong, and to admit to all of those icky feelings that drive us to do wrong in pain and fear, we create the space where change can be made.
I urge us to practice radical forgiveness. To embrace people’s callings towards right rather than merely condemn what they’ve done in the past. It’s something we can learn from Christianity, actually. They have stories and a long history of this as a best practice.
I heard the story the other night of House Speaker Paul Ryan apologizing for how he treated the poor in the past. He really started listening to his constituents and started understanding that it wasn’t about “givers” and “takers”, but about people struggling to do the best they can. Now, I’m sure many would either think he’s being dishonest (maybe trying to get elected again?) or think that what he’s saying is too little, too late. But neither of those approaches will encourage or cultivate his further growth into good. People respond to praise and encouragement, not chastisement and anger. Just as we’ve learned that positive feedback is the healthiest way to raise a child, positive encouragement is also the healthiest and best way to create change in adults as well. So instead of being like “yeah, right”, I go “That’s wonderful, Speaker Ryan. I’m very proud of you. I encourage you to continue to go down this path, to listen more, to read and learn. You did a good thing and I hope this is the first of many.” And, if he wants forgiveness, I’ll give it to him. Because without said forgiveness, a safe place for growth can not be created. I will welcome him with love into the Light, if we wanna get all poetic about it.
DynamicCatholic.com states “The Year of Mercy is an invitation—an invitation to love, kindness, and unbounded generosity.” It goes on to talk about the mercy of God, and how all mercy is God’s mercy. Whether or not we believe in a deity or deities, Love, Kindness, and Unbounded Generosity are things we should aspire to, ideas that can change the world.
So I entreat all of us to walk beside our Roman Catholic siblings in their Year of Mercy. I entreat us to study, to reflect, to think & discuss with others, to enter a dialog or discourse, to do things that inspire us to (and then actually do!) bring about greater Mercy in all of our lives.
Let us celebrate a Jubilee Year of Mercy in our minds, in our hearts, and in our actions. Let the healing & repair begin here, now.