Welcome to the ULC Minister's Network

Br. E.G. Carriere

Communicating with others

  • Communicating with others
     
    We order a meal in a restaurant, a supervisor gives direction on a job site, a child tugs at the skirt of their mother, a deaf couple sign in the park, an ad plays on the radio or on a television, and a teenager texts their friend(s) on smartphones. All of these things are communication. Some are verbal, some are non-verbal, and some are even non-verbally verbal. We all communicate every day.
     
    Are we effective in our communications? Are the words we use understood? Do we know what it means to communicate or even to do so effectively? How many times have we communicated a message that was completely misunderstood? Did we not do it right or did the other party not listen?
     
    Probably a little of both, to be quite honest; most of us do not understand how to communicate or how to accomplish a seemingly simple task. In order for us to be effective, we must be able to communicate, and do so in an effective manner.
     
    Example: Many will be invited to go to an event to talk about their day to day life. While in attendance, some will be using their smartphones (disrespectful), some will not listen and just be there just to be there and others will want to contribute to the discussion.
     
    While some will say that using their smartphones is acceptable when others are talking, it is disrespectful to the person doing the talking. How would you like it if everyone around you were playing, or texting on their smartphones? If you are at an event, class, or meal, put away your cellphone and pay attention to the discussions.
     
    Ok. Great. I got it… well, maybe not.
     
    What is communication? Is it simply exchanging ideas in discussions? That is an important part of communication, but how many times have we felt as though we were lighting a candle in the wind or efforts to share or exchange ideas?
     
    Communication is the act of sharing ideas for the purpose of creating a shared mutual understanding. How do we know that this is what communication is? When we communicate, we are sharing ideas and to do so effectively, we are sharing ideas with the intent of creating a shared understanding. After all, if we do not wish to be understood, why are we communicating?
     
    The way in which we communicate with people is very important. Words can injure or heal, condemn or uplift; they can be true and righteous or they can be false and deceptive. Our words are indicators of the condition of what is in our heart as well as indicators of our own spiritual maturity.
     
    Speaking is an important part of communicating; however, the part that is probably the most important, is listening. “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. This is an important part of listening, and listening actively. In the time we are listening, healing can occur, bridges can be built. We have all been given instructions in what to say and what not to say and even how it should be said.
     
    Our parents teach us to be truthful, to speak softly, to be happy and joyful, to encourage one another and to be sympathetic and compassionate in how we communicate with one another. Most of us have forgotten what our parents have taught us as we allow society to dictate how we communicate.
     
    My challenge to you is as follows:
     
    Any time to go to eat a meal, whether it is at home, a restaurant or any other location, place your cellphone in the center of the table and do not answer the phone during the duration of the meal. Anyone who answers their phones would be required to pay for the meal if at a restaurant, and f at a home, then the person answering the phone should be required to clean the dishes and table.
     
    When outdoors, it is best to not use your cellphone when walking outdoors. Use a bluetooth headset if you want to make calls. It is not wise to play games while walking as your vision will be more concentrated on the screen instead of your environment.
     
    Our current technology is a double edged sword. For some, it is a benefit but in some respect, it can also be a disadvantage. Please be careful how you use technology.
     
    How do you communicate?
     

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