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Brenda Payne

Mid-Life Crisis

  •       "Guess what?" I announced, when my husband came in the door that Saturday. "I can now marry people!"

          He looked at me like I had grown two heads. "Come again?" he asked.

          So, I breathlessly told him how I had spent my rainy Saturday afternoon: Finding this website, reading and learning all I could, getting the certificate of ordination, etc... He listened very intently and seriously, then said, "Okay. But why?"

         Why? Why indeed. I have always loved the idea of weddings and marriage. I read Bride magazine when I was a kid, straight through until I got married. I remember dating my husband of and on for 10 years, before we finally got engaged. I remember taking 2 years to plan our budget wedding, and how hard it was to find someone who would do a personalized ceremony because we had no church or religious affiliation. I remember back then, 23 years ago, paying $200 for the quick, 20 minute ceremony. That was a lot of money to a recent college graduate and a student- teacher.

          SO, there I was, a few weekends ago. I was in remission from a serious illness. I was on summer break from my work as a teacher. And yes, you could say I was having a mid-life crisis. No sports car or "Thelma and Louise" road trip for me. Nope, my midlife crisis involved wanteing to make life easier for those like my husband and me who had difficulty finding an officiant. I wanted to be there for those with differing religious beliefs, or no religious beliefs. I wanted to be there for same sex couples, and couples who were on their 2nd (or more) marriage. I wanted to be the inclusive one. And I did it.

         When you get right down to it, most organized religions preach some version of the golden rule. As a teacher ( which I still plan on doing), it is what I strive to teach my students each day.  Mid-life crisis? I thought so at first. Now I know, like teaching, it is a calling!

     

3 comments
  • Auntie Moira
    Auntie Moira Congratulations on finding a happy vocation during your midlife transition!
    July 26, 2017
  • S. R. Miranda-Hess
    S. R. Miranda-Hess "I wanted to be there for those with differing religious beliefs, or no religious beliefs. I wanted to be there for same sex couples, and couples who were on their 2nd (or more) marriage. I wanted to be the inclusive one. And I did it."

    Me too!...  more
    July 26, 2017 - 1 likes this
  • Mystic  Angel
    Mystic Angel I don't call it a crisis, I call you a blessing :)
    August 9, 2017 - 1 likes this