Recently, I shared with someone that because of my previous years working with the aging and dying, I feel like I've aged and died a few times. Today at 59 and with Medicare looming closer to my name, I don't have to reach far back to understand this thing called aging.
We live in a culture that pushes us to fix our looks using cosmetic skills and conquer every pain imaginable. And with a brain that cannot fathom the cessation of body--or anything else, for that matter--we are far more susceptible to 'fix' our aging than we think.
If history tells us anything, it's that no matter what we do to stay young and live longer, eventually two things will happen, we will grow old and we will die. As an existentialist, these two topics have long been an integral part to my ministerial and counseling careers.
It's important as ministers to develop and convey a kinder language for aging. We must come to terms with the aches, pains, and mood shifts that come with getting old--by the way, it's honorable in some cultures to say the word. Logically and emotionally, we need to befriend the limitations that will eventually prevent us from keeping up with a speedy and stress-induced society. Practically speaking, we must cultivate a slower breathing as we notice the gray hair and saggy skin, an honest reflection on those secret resistances we've pocketed on aging altogether, an acceptance toward the persistent stiffness of each morning, a courage to embrace the permanent loss of youth, and brave planning on what will soon become a smaller world, if we do survive our loved ones (i.e., as we grow older, more friends and family transition out of this life, not to mention where we might eventually live. This for another blog).
In order for us to serve the community honestly, we must come to grips with this sobering message and avoid falling prey to the cultural denial that splashes all over advertisements. If we as ministers can't develop this graceful breathing into our own aging process, we will certainly miss the men and women who we hope to reach.
For more about my work: BodyMindMetaphor.com