But while he thought on these things, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream saying, “Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife, for He who is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins.”
Matthew 1:20-21, Modern English Version (MEV)
Even in those days, I tend to doubt that being visited by an angel, even in a dream, was a common occurrence. Then again, even if such a thing wasn't a common event, the people of that day weren't as quick to pass such a thing off as being the result of that late night triple pepperoni pizza either. To be honest, we don't really know how widely Mary and Joseph's situation was known. Her cousin Elizabeth obviously knew, or did she? When we look at the evidence, it would appear that Mary's condition Probably wasn't widely known and, more than likely, at this point in time, Joseph was the only one who knew, aside from Mary herself. Regardless, it would probably be safe to say that the information we're provided most likely fails to paint for us the full gamut of emotions that Joseph must have been experiencing given the times and circumstances.
Joseph was, first and foremost, a Jewish male. He has had the Torah, the Law, drilled into him his entire life. His very thoughts would have been guided by, or at least heavily influenced by, the Torah and its teachings. Which brings us to the question, would Joseph have set Mary aside as was his right under Torah if God hadn’t intervened? The answer would have to be yes, since God did intervene.
Joseph was not an isolated individual living in a sea of isolated individuals. He was an integral member of a mostly homogenous community. It would have taken something very drastic for him to go against the written and unwritten rules and traditions of his community. The response from the community for doing so would be enough to break anyone, and often did. Many of us are familiar with the practice of shunning that is found among certain religious communities like the Amish, but as hurtful as that practice can be, it pales in comparison with what Joseph would have faced.
For those of us who have lived our entire lives in Western society, these things can be difficult to fully comprehend. We tend to be very “individual” oriented. Family and community mean less to us now than they ever have. While this development has its own issues, it isn’t necessarily a totally bad thing. It does, however, make it more difficult to understand what Joseph was going through, let alone relate to him on any level. Because of that, we tend to impose our modern ideas and ways of life into our understanding of the story we are being told, which then leads us to conclusions that have nothing to do with what is being related to us. It’s up to each of us to guard against that sort of thing.