My Friends,
Im writing this as a question to you all and Im going to pray about it too,and would hope you join me in that prayer.
My daughter has a mental illness that is keeping her and I apart,not by my choice but by hers along with her mother fueling my daughter's fires.
I pray and pray, silently,out loud, I scream and cry my prayers to God. I often scream and cry either out of the abysmal loneliness I feel,or for the injustice of what seems to be my fate,most of all this disprder is destroying my daughter, and it is taking all of my strength to wait for my prayers to be answered, Im at the point of asking God to take me,but he doesnt. I know my daughter needs me,but I cant get the time of day from her. phrases that have come out of her mouth as of late sound as though they come from her mother, as they had never been part of my daughter's vocabulary before. Im sure she is being coached.
My daughter says she isnt going to spend the holidays with me, or her birthday. We have never been apart before for them ever. Part of her disorder is that those with it turn on the ones they love the most in the world. Part of me is honored by this, and part of me wishes it wasnt so,just so I could have some warmth and compassion from her,but this disorder Borderline Personality Disorder is destroying my little girl and me as well. She used to be model child, straight As,honor roll,very loving and giving and sharing. She was quite protective of me as well. I dont know where she went, she still looks like my child, but all of the good seems to have dispappeared in her, or is reserved for others. I wasnt a bad father, and was always a great Daddy. I proudly wear 2 rings she gave me for Father's Day years ago. One says Dad, the other says DADDY and inside she had engraved " Thank you for being there for me". Im very proud of my daughter and will always stick by her no matter what happens. The problem is Im breaking down, losing my mind and my heart is broken.
My question is Why does God answer small prayers from me?, like asking for a text from her or many other small things, sometimes my prayers are answered before I even say Amen and Thank you. Which I marvel at the speed in which God makes these things happen.
The 2nd part of my question is why isnt my big prayer answered yet and when will it be? THe holidays are upon us and I have no Joy in them, Im filled with dread. Her birthday is in January. I was the first person she saw in this world, I rmemeber it like it just happened seconds ago. That was the most wondeful day in my entire life. I want to be able to share things with her, and show her just how much she means to me in this life,she has always been my world, and always will be.
I know I shouldnt try and rush God and he has perfect timing,but Im falling apart with this. Her mother will not help and uses my daughter as a pawn against me. I used to be my daughter's hero, I want to be that again. I want my house to be a home again, not just a box that I live in. She made it a home, she had so much love for me you could feel it in the air. Im sorry for rambling.
Father,
I know I ask much,but Ive waited so very long for our situation to be healed, Im losing hope and my faith although,it gets a boost when small prayers are answered almost immediately, I cant help but wonder what is taking this so long. I know you can do the impossible and have done much for me in the past, and Im eternally grateful. This situation to be healed is more important than any of the things Ive asked for. This is my baby,my flesh and blood. She needs me and I need her. Ill get her whatever help she needs and promise to be the best parent I can be with your help. Please help me Im breaking Dear God, Im begging you. I Forgive me for all Ive done wrong in life,forgive my daughter she cant help what she does,and let her love, forgive and trust me again.n Jesus's name I ask this. Amen and thank you.
Danny, we cannot rush God in answering prayers. He is listening. You just have to be patient. Patience is what God looks for in us. He hears our prayers. It does no good to get flustered and drive yourself crazy. God watches everything we say and do. He will take care of the problem and give you an answer. When We cannot tell God I want it now. Prayer does not work that way. Again, brother, be patient.
Ralph, its been so very long, and my daughter is worsening.
I try to be patient, sometimes I would just like a small sign, a bone tossed to me, and if Im lucky some meat on it.
Im scared, we have never been apart for the holidays or her birthday. Im sure her mother is behind much of this. Hopefully my daughter will wake up to her mother and have the awareness that she used to.
I am holding on for a miracle to happen for us. My baby needs one, and so do I.
Thank you
Though I know this isn't what you are looking for, you must remember to have unconditional love. This means love your daughter with her mental disorder. Accept who she is. Love her more because of this disorder.
Above all, remember: God is always on time, even when we feel it is too late. His timing is perfect.
Blessed be, my friend.
Lord Jesus, thank you that you love Danny's daughter. I know that you hate what their illness is doing to them. I ask that you would heal this illness, that you would have compassion and bring healing from all sickness and pain.
Your word says in Psalm 107:19-20 that when we call out to you the Eternal one you will give the order, heal and rescue us from certain death. In the Bible, I have read of miraculous healing and I believe that you still heal the same way today. I believe that there is no illness you cannot heal after all the bible tells of you raising people from the dead so I ask for your healing in this situation.
I also know from my experience of life on earth that not everyone is healed. If that happens here then keep his heart soft towards you, help him to understand your plan.
God, I thank you that Danny's daughter belongs to you and that you are in control of everything that happens from our first breath to our last sigh.
Amen.
"Not Everyone Is Healed"
I was diagnosed with Bipolar and Schizo Affective at Age 16. I am now 38 years old.
My parents are a major blessing in my life, yet while I am close to them, there has always been a distance between us.
I have attempted suicide dozens of times.
I take pills every day.
This makes it so I cannot operate machinery which includes driving.
I finally have a stable job that lets me serve the community after years of trying.
My wife an I have been married for 5 wonderful years.
I have a cat, and a stepson who I am very proud of but who distances himself from me.
During my life I have moved over 30 times.
Danny my heart goes out to you and your daughter.
I just said a prayer for you.
All I can say is be prepared, my friend. Everything will not always go as planned and the will be setbacks and pitfalls.
Hope and pray for the best
Keep being strong and make the most of what time the two of you have
I can tell you love her very much
Listen to these ministers they are giving you very good advice.
Any time you wanna talk let me know
Blessed be.
[blockquote]Scott Luxon said:
"Not Everyone Is Healed"
I was diagnosed with Bipolar and Schizo Affective at Age 16. I am now 38 years old.
My parents are a major blessing in my life, yet while I am close to them, there has always been a distance between us.
I have attempted suicide dozens of times.
I take pills every day.
This makes it so I cannot operate machinery which includes driving.
I finally have a stable job that lets me serve the community after years of trying.
My wife an I have been married for 5 wonderful years.
I have a cat, and a stepson who I am very proud of but who distances himself from me.
During my life I have moved over 30 times.
Danny my heart goes out to you and your daughter.
I just said a prayer for you.
All I can say is be prepared, my friend. Everything will not always go as planned and the will be setbacks and pitfalls.
Hope and pray for the best
Keep being strong and make the most of what time the two of you have
I can tell you love her very much
Listen to these ministers they are giving you very good advice.
Any time you wanna talk let me know
Blessed be.
[/blockquote]
Every time I turn around matters fet worse, I just lost my best friend she was the only contact I had with my daughter.
Thanks for the offer,but I dont know what to say,no amount of God is good is giving me the small miracle I ask for. My heart is broken
Keep up your faith in the father. Research her sickness and understand it, show her all the love and support you can. I have a mental problem and was away from my dad for a long time. But things worked out in the end. The main reason i was away from him is i had to fully accept my mental health problem. I don't know where your daughter is on this but i will pray for you both
Danny Mahon said on Nov 7, 2018"
"Every time I turn around matters fet worse, I just lost my best friend she was the only contact I had with my daughter.
Thanks for the offer,but I dont know what to say,no amount of God is good is giving me the small miracle I ask for. My heart is broken "
Danny, I am sorry for the pain you're feeling. Peace be with you, may you and your daughter find the solace you need, It sounds as if you must continue to take steps to show your daughter the love you feel. She may not reciprocate outwardly, but in time she will re-evaluate and remember. You must set aside your hurt and anger now, so you are able to be strong for her now. Is she getting treatment? Can you still show her your love, not your disappointment and pain? She is also in pain, unable to handle it alone (you do not mention her age, adult or child?). Keep reminding her of your love for her. Do not bad mouth her mother, for she loves your daughter too. It will take a lot of effort and will on your part. It will also take time. Look at "the man in the mirror. Ask him..." to take action. Blessed be, and best wishes. (nod to Michael Jackson)