For years now, I've been plagued with pain. I fought tooth and nail to beat cancer, only to live in torment afterward. Now, each day, I pray for the pain to end no matter what that means. If it means taking me, so be it. I was denied renewal of disability a couple years back, so now I'm stuck in a job that beats me down physically everyday. I've tried to help everyone I can, turn my pain into a positive, use my endurance through all this to encourage others, but its felt like a lie. It helps everyone I talk to, but if I was back in the same situation again where it was treatment or death, I don't know that I would have taken the same path. I want it to end, I want it all to end, so I pray for guidance. I have no strength left in me to endure. I push myself harder and harder for my family, but I feel dead inside. I pray for an answer or an end, one of the two.